Compared to Wal-Mart, Fred Meyer is to "one-stop shoppers," what John Oates is to Daryl Hall and John Oates. Fred Meyer is the Garfunkel of superstores. It's the Avis Rent-A-Car of auto rentals; it's Mark Grisham ... Marcus Jordan.

Chicago tops America's list of "most stressed out cities." Hm, this dubious honor comports nicely with the city's reputation (among the general public) in regards to the cardiovascular health of its constituents. Sausage?

The word "colonel" is so weird. It has a medial "l" pronounced as "r" - it's a vagary of English spelling. The word is borrowed from French (I think) and the "l" was dissimilated to "r." How in the world did this pronunciation survive while the spelling remained the orthographic standard? How? The bad guy in "Iron Eagle" pronounced it in the technical fashion, but that was purely due to his accent.

If you think about it, invention of the wheel begat convenience. Further, wheels made it convenient to go and find out what other people had in their possession. Thru a transitive relation, it's quite possible that the invention of the wheel rolled in a new wave of envy. Screw you wheel, and anything else roundish that you rode in on.

Public EFFECTion

Message for those Emmy Award-winning couples I see arguing every now and again in public: Let's get down to brass tacks; the fastest way to a person's heart is through their chest. Let 'er rip. Get it over with so I can pick out my vegetables without your whinny voices and 3rd grade-level english breaking my concentration.